Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Teens and Making Mistakes

Parent Question: My teen says he doesn't need my help with school stuff or day-to-day decisions, but I see him making mistakes. How can I stay involved without being too intrusive?

Winston Churchill once said, "I've eaten many of my words, and I've found them nourishing." Do you support your teen's effort to find out who she is, try things on her own, and make her own "nourishing" mistakes? Often, a parent's role is to simply watch the development. Freedom is the starting point. If a parent gives a teen the freedom to make decisions and experience her stumbles, she will learn. When my oldest son was a junior, he switched high schools by his own choice. As difficult as it was to watch his painful process, I learned this key parent lesson: "I don't care what you decide -- I just want you to do what you want." While it may sound obvious and easy to do, is isn't. The teen years are about your teen making choices, learning from mistakes, and being "nourished" through hard-won lessons along the way.

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