Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Talking to Teens About Sex

1. The topic of sex is very much on the mind of most teens. Don't think they aren't interested in talking about it. The most important thing you can do is talk. Start early. Get information in early. When they are eleven or twelve, begin talking. It's more important that you talk than what you talk about at this age, although topics should be simple and age appropriate.

2. This establishes openness between you and your teen on sex-related issues. You want your teen to feel comfortable coming to you to talk later, and the best way to ensure this future dialogue is to initiate it early yourself. Let them know you welcome, are comfortable with, and like to talk about sex-related topics. Try to be nonjudgmental and open to their viewpoints, especially if they are trying out some new ideas or feelings on you. Honor their emotions and be willing to work through differences.

3. If you're not comfortable talking about sex—fake it. Comfort will grow with frequency. Ideally, if you started talking when they were younger, you'll be more comfortable talking as your child enters the teen years. If you didn't, there is no time like right now. So just start. Then, visit and revisit topics frequently.

4. Your goal is to establish open dialogue on the subject along with regular check-ins: "What are you thinking these days about sex before marriage, birth control, and AIDS prevention?" These are appropriate questions to ask your fifteen-year-old, if you've had conversations in the past.

5. As a general rule: keep topics surfacing—frequently, lightly, and with openness. You'll find that your teen needs these conversations. They're on his or her mind now, and it's likely that not too many adults initiate discussion. Be sure to share your ideas and views on love, relationships, marriage—and even passion—with your teen.

Bottom line: Create an open dialogue between you and your teen to talk about love, passion, sex, and relationships.